Sexless marriage and near-sexless marriage are extremely common and can be quite treatable. If you’re struggling in a sexless marriage, contact me today to arrange a consultation.
CALL (657) 888-3222 TO FIND OUT HOW MY THERAPY SERVICES CAN HELP YOU.
What are the major reasons couples stop having sex?
Every sexless marriage or sexless relationship is different. Sometimes it starts with bad sex, or with loss of desire. Sometimes sexless marriage may have nothing to do with sex, and just reflects that one or both of you are emotionally unhappy. Whatever the original cause, though, sexless marriage eventually tends to become self-perpetuating.
Every sexless marriage or sexless relationship is different. Sometimes it starts with bad sex, or with loss of desire. Sometimes sexless marriage may have nothing to do with sex, and just reflects that one or both of you are emotionally unhappy. Whatever the original cause, though, sexless marriage eventually tends to become self-perpetuating.
|
DO YOU OR YOUR PARTNER HAVE LACK OF SEXUAL DESIRE OR INTEREST IN SEX?
If you want to have sex less often than your partner does, neither one of you is necessarily outside the norm for people at your stage in life, although your differences may cause distress. As a sex, relationship, and intimacy therapist, Luisa creates a comfortable and safe environment to talk about sex with individuals and couples. Luisa helps clients facing sexual challenges as a consequence of trauma, infidelity, sex addiction, porn addiction, erectile dysfunction, low libido, mismatch libidos, chronic illness, vaginismus, sexless marriage, or other situations achieve a more satisfying sex life. |
How does sexless marriage become self-perpetuating?
When you live with someone long-term but you aren’t sexual with them, your mind starts to classify them as “sibling.” So couples in sexless marriages end up accidentally invoking the “incest taboo.” Once that happens, sex can start to feel pretty awkward. I usually advise couples in sexless marriages that lovemaking may not feel natural until a month or two after they resume physical intimacy.
|
YOU ARE IN LOVE, BUT NOT SEXUALLY AROUSED
For many, emotional intimacy is essential for sexual intimacy. Often, decreased arousal is not simply due to a breakdown in intimate communication, but from a larger issue, a loss of trust in your partner, financial or family stressors, or unresolved issues from the past. Luisa guides each individual and couple to identify the root of the problem, help strengthen your connection with your partner, and transform unsatisfying sexual and relationship patterns to a more fulfilling sexual life. |
What are the biggest mistakes made by couples in sexless marriages?
The first mistake is to delay getting help. The sooner you take action to fix a sexless relationship, the less likely it is that you’ll end up feeling like siblings. The next mistake is to try to solve the problem by trying to re-awaken desire. Those approaches mostly don’t work. Your sexual mind is very honest. It hates being manipulated or tricked into desire, when it doesn’t feel it.
The key is to find ways to have good sex even when you’re not feeling much desire. Desire comes and goes in a committed relationship. In most long-term committed relationships, good sex leads to desire — not the other way around.
