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Sex and intimacy naturally go together. But what about when they don’t? As a sex therapist and relationship therapist in Orange County Luisa help individuals and couples to understand and solve intimacy problems. If you’re suffering from a sexual intimacy problem, childhood trauma, or trouble advocating for yourself in an intimate relationship, there’s never been a better time to get help. Contact Luisa to get started.
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FEELING ALONE, ISOLATED OR DISCONNECTED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Unprocessed trauma, dishonesty, pain, affairs, or other life challenges can shatter and impact your relationship with your partner. In couples therapy, Luisa helps you identify the negative problematic cycles that are creating an abyss in your relationship and she will guide you to create new cycles of bonding interactions. Luisa is trained in Sex Therapy, Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to assist couples in rebuilding connection, intimacy, and trust in order to restore the relationship. |
What exactly is a sexual intimacy problem?
Many people can function quite well sexually — until they develop feelings for their partner. Then, mysteriously, sex can become a problem. They may lose interest, have trouble with sexual functioning, or feel they’re just “going through the motions.” Sexual intimacy problems may manifest as low sexual desire, high sexual desire, or both — which can be quite confusing.
What causes sexual intimacy problems?
People who experiment sexual intimacy problem have had backgrounds of trauma, abuse, or neglect; many have lacked confidence advocating for their needs and feelings in an intimate relationship, and most have struggled with serious shame issues that made them feel wary of being fully known by a partner. Many have also struggled with addictions.
Many people with sexual intimacy problems are great at giving, but have trouble receiving. They may experience sex as a performance, and struggle with being “present.”
Many people can function quite well sexually — until they develop feelings for their partner. Then, mysteriously, sex can become a problem. They may lose interest, have trouble with sexual functioning, or feel they’re just “going through the motions.” Sexual intimacy problems may manifest as low sexual desire, high sexual desire, or both — which can be quite confusing.
What causes sexual intimacy problems?
People who experiment sexual intimacy problem have had backgrounds of trauma, abuse, or neglect; many have lacked confidence advocating for their needs and feelings in an intimate relationship, and most have struggled with serious shame issues that made them feel wary of being fully known by a partner. Many have also struggled with addictions.
Many people with sexual intimacy problems are great at giving, but have trouble receiving. They may experience sex as a performance, and struggle with being “present.”
How treatable are sexual intimacy problems?
Intimacy problems that interfere with sexual happiness in a committed relationship aren’t usually a quick-fix. Help often comes through healing relationships — with a therapist, a true friend, a loving partner, a healing community, or (most often) with several of the above. Most people with sexual intimacy problems truly want help and are eager to have a chance to experience greater intimacy with the people they care about.
What can I do now to help myself with a sexual intimacy problem?
If you’re someone who struggles with intimacy, you can practice expressing your needs, even when your needs might conflict with your partner’s needs. Many people who struggle with intimacy haven’t had much experience handling conflict in a calm, reasonable way. They tend to avoid conflict, which often means avoiding their partner. Staying connected to someone even when you’re in conflict is an acquired skill. Many people with intimacy problems haven’t had much practice giving and receiving this kind of intimate communication. But it’s never too late to learn!
Intimacy problems that interfere with sexual happiness in a committed relationship aren’t usually a quick-fix. Help often comes through healing relationships — with a therapist, a true friend, a loving partner, a healing community, or (most often) with several of the above. Most people with sexual intimacy problems truly want help and are eager to have a chance to experience greater intimacy with the people they care about.
What can I do now to help myself with a sexual intimacy problem?
If you’re someone who struggles with intimacy, you can practice expressing your needs, even when your needs might conflict with your partner’s needs. Many people who struggle with intimacy haven’t had much experience handling conflict in a calm, reasonable way. They tend to avoid conflict, which often means avoiding their partner. Staying connected to someone even when you’re in conflict is an acquired skill. Many people with intimacy problems haven’t had much practice giving and receiving this kind of intimate communication. But it’s never too late to learn!
